As I sit in my study, I see the moon's faint red glow in the heavens from my window. It is only half its full. It's view shows exactly how I feel as I write my daily thoughts upon my journal.
Today, we ran from militant figures, my son and I hid beneath a burned out vehicle with shattered windows and watched as men were set ablaze for not denouncing their Christianity, and, I hurt for them.
Today, they threw a man upon his knees and pointed a rifle at his bewildered face. Caught off guard as he was, one could see the stricken fear in his shaken body, and the terror in his eyes.
Oh the sickness of the sight that I cannot shake from thought!!!
My heart pained for him and we cried silently for his fear.
I think he looked right at me, and the air became stilled for a moment, and ran right up my spine like a finger in a book.
They yelled at him with force of anger to recite the muslim bible, a prayer or something. But, the poor fellow didn't know any of the words, and so sang a hymn of what came to mind with his last breath, as if to express that it was his very last in this place.
Then they shot him in his face, and his body slumped over to the front of his knees. His blood stained his clothes, yet his eyes remained opened, but his breath no longer heaved within his chest from the pant of fear.
What horror and wickedness!
Who could do such a thing to person and say that it was a thing of God?
Do we not all serve a God who watches over both man and beast?! Who created life for His great pleasure!
As they went their way shouting their victories and shooting at anything that moved, we waited until all was clear; that the voices had carried away to its silence.
the first thing that came to mind was the tribulation.
and then I thought, No! Can't be! We are supposed to be "raptured" away before the tribulation. So, it is impossible that the Lord would have left us remain in this terrible place without remembering that we were still here.
I returned home with my son and saw on tv, a reporter, in a place far from us, speaking of people's homes being "razed".
A term I had not yet heard. I soon learned the reason and came to understand that it was due. That those people's homes were destroyed for the sake of retaliation of the militant's actions against humanity.
Can you imagine, returning home from the work, and the sweat of a long heated day to find that home was not there?
Huh?! Imagine that!!!
They didn't see what I saw, yet, it was quite the same in description for the sake of life and for such a sake as this, they are destroying the homes of owners who are innocent because they know them.
I fell upon my knees for the things that i have witnessed and leaned upon the floor as my heart ripped inside of me like a beaten drum tired and worn. The tears that dropped upon the floor, blurred my vision for whatever was there. I could not hear for the pounding in my chest, nor could I see for the tears in my eyes. And the world went on around my pain.
I was thinking about the people that died today. Some were even beheaded, some were set ablaze while they were still aware, and I hurt for them.
I even heard that an earthquake hit somewhere! shaking the land where towers once reached into clouds have now become leveled to the ground. Beneath rubble lie the bodies of voices falling upon deaf ears who would like to save them, but time is a value that few will have attained.
Oh bloody moon, what signs dare thou show
for things we wish we didn't know.
Tomorrow, when the wind blows,
clouds of judgement bring men woes.
and, here I sit watching calamities unfold.
I saw the Protestant kill the Catholic man,
and I saw the Catholic man, kill the Protestant.
I saw the Muslim kill the Jew, and I saw the Jew kill the Muslim.
I saw helpers kill those they served, and I saw the servants kill those they've helped.
I saw people taken hostage, and I saw hostages run free.
I've listened to the news, as much as could be heard. And when I arose from my pain, it pleased me that someone could find one good thing to say in the world.
A smile creased my lips, but my swollen eyes could barely see. There was a sheep all fattened and white. He appeared to almost wear a smile himself of the same pleasure I had at seeing him. He stood there on a podium before cameras as a man sheered all that fur he had grown for years, and they put his wool up for auction.
Although I felt at peace for his fattened grace, I also found a silent reason to feel sorry for the beast because it now lost its coat for money. Money that he would never see and yet, I wondered how hot the thing must've been.
Ha! A smile!!!
Sorrow again filled my soul as I pondered the children of the world. Here, I feel when I see what has been done, almost as if they are my own.
I say, then, to you, that I have watched my daughter degrade a man to his nakedness and shame, and I have watched my son die at the hands of another, and my heart ripped out through my mouth as though my voice was choked by the sound of the beating in my chest.
And I even considered that I have cried for a man I did not know, and prayed for a stranger who knows not that I exist. And, stranger still, the daughter who is in trouble for her actions, that I am her mother, but can do nothing to quell what must now befall her.
I considered too, that I am sister to those who are in a distant land. That any day shall uproot my brothers from this place one by one as birds on a fence. And, not even my voice will carry them through the day. Nor shall what I say matter to my enemy that I had spoken kindly.
And, as I stood in my study, and peered outside, I remember that God is not without humor!
George Orwell took away my hope of survival.
and, I am reminded that I am still here as those days have now long past.
And, I remembered again, that God is not without humor.
There was a fellow who crossed my eye. and, as he strolled by, a laugh escaped my lips. He had the longest legs, and he walked as a grasshopper for the length of his legs. His shoulders were curved inward, and his back outward and of all things, he had on the whitest socks along with a clean pair of flipflops. He appealed to my sense of humor, and for a fleeting moment, even so brief as a second or two, I did laugh.
And, I remembered that God is not without humor.
I did laugh, as this fleeting moment took me off guard. Fresh tears still on the brink of my eyelids found laughter so sweet to free my pain. For he appeared unto me as an angel to lift my spirits from the lowest madness, even so brief as a fleeting moment.
and, I remembered, that God is always watching!
I turned again to the tv as the reporter brought fresh revelations to mind. He was on location giving his report. Someone in the background ran past with a sign. And, I heard the faint voice say, " Welcome to the tribulation!", and then he ran away.
and, I thought to myself in anguish, "Why am I still here?"
"Waky! Waky!" A voice did call. In the darkness of it all. And, my eyes did see the light, for I did wake, and did recall, all the sounds and sights I saw. And wrote them down as they were filed, within my thoughts of someone's child. The funny things that did beguile. For to me, a fleeting thing, is found while living in a dream.
Your sister,
Ginger,
